So….how are you progressing with your New Year's Resolutions? Still going strong?Or….has your willpower taken a stumble? If you’re feeling like you’ve already failed and your motivation is long gone; don’t worry, you’re not alone. According to research, around 80% of people ditch their New Year’s resolutions by the end of January, with 43% giving up within the first two weeks.
So, what is it about the start of a new year that fills us with such flaky determination? Behavioural scientists have a name for it: the “fresh start effect.” Temporal landmarks, like the start of a new year, create a psychological separation from our “old self,” offering us a clean slate and renewed motivation. Needless to say, unrealistic expectations, combined with the pressure to be perfect, can derail these efforts, making us give up before we make progress or see results.
Like many, I’ve made my fair share of lofty promises: quit sugar, exercise daily, eat better, or stop procrastinating. I’d start strong, but a single “slip” would convince me I’d failed entirely. What followed was a familiar cycle: abandon the goal, wait for the next fresh start, repeat. This pattern of behavior would leave me feeling defeated, far from the person I wanted to become.
So, this year, instead of striving for perfection, I’d like to introduce a values-based approach rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which says that in any given moment, the actions we take can either move us: toward our values, helping us live in alignment with what truly matters to us (e.g., health, connection, compassion, self-care) or away from our values, taking us further from the person we want to be and what we hold dear.
Toward Moves aren’t about achieving big, elaborate goals. They can be as simple as drinking a glass of water, resting when you’re tired, or speaking kindly to yourself during moments of doubt. Away Moves, on the other hand, tend to be actions driven by avoidance, fear, or overwhelm. For me, that avoidance is doom scrolling on my phone in the morning because I’m trying to work up the motivation to start my day. 😅 (It’s certainly a work in progress!)
What I like about this framework is that it doesn’t cast judgement or treat behaviors as morally ‘good’ or ‘bad’ - it’s all about context and purpose. Choosing to rest instead of exercise might seem like “skipping,” but if it helps your body recover, it’s the right decision for that moment.
Plus, on those inevitable hard days when you can’t be as productive as you had hoped (or think you should be) it can be easy to fall into the habit of asking, “Did I succeed or fail?” But this black and white thinking can be critical, and unkind. Instead, try asking, “Did I move in the right direction, towards my values and the person I want to be?” Doing a 10 minute stretch in your pajamas, rather than skipping exercise entirely, is still a positive step forward. That alone can help build momentum.
This shift reframes a goal as a continuum rather than a specific outcome. It’s not about ticking every box but about making choices, however small, that bring you closer to creating a life that you want. I think this perspective offers a kinder, more forgiving approach which, over time, can help strengthen your motivation to keep making positive changes. It allows for flexibility, self-compassion, and the understanding that progress, not perfection, is what truly matters.